Anonymous asked: Do you have a crush on anyone?

Yes.

Anonymous asked: You don't have to face this on your own.

I know, and in reality, I know people care, but I wish deep down that I didn’t have to make them worry.

Anonymous asked: Why is it, whenever I see you, you're always in a livid state, be it neutral or positive but when you're on here, you're all 'oh man I want to die'? Are you just doing this for attention or is there a deep seated reason?

If I were to be as I am on here in person, people would freak out and worry, and that would do more damage to me than it does facing these demons alone and only letting so few people in, which is the way I prefer - less emotional worry on them, less thought on more people knowing I failed them.

Anonymous asked: Would you kill yourself? Like, would you honestly jump in front of a speeding car, overdose, slit your throat, jump off a bridge?

The thought of it pops into my head more and more every day, and that scares me… and my friends too, it’d seem.

Anonymous asked: Be strong. Not for me, not for yourself, but for your family, Shaun, Lacy, Blade... for the people that care about you.

I’m trying… ever so hard for them. For my mum, and for Shaun, Lacy and Blade… I just don’t want to let them down and I feel the state I’m in now is failing them, one way or another, and it’s really making me feel even worse.

Anonymous asked: Think about who you'll hurt. Sure, people come and go, but everyone is unique. They'd be losing that in their lives.

I know what will happen in my passing.

People will mourn, people will remember me, then people will move on.

The strong people know how to go about a death, unexpected or otherwise, and I can’t lie and say I’m strong and don’t care… I know I sound like a bitch but fighting a battle you can no longer win isn’t something I’d rather be doing. Not now. Not ever.

Anonymous asked: Don't do it, Jordan. I love you. <3

Please.

You think you love the person you think I am. If you knew the person I am to the people I care about, you wouldn’t be using the “L” word like it means nothing.

I think I might OD tonight.
Or something.
I need something.

Anonymous asked: what would it take for suicide to no longer be an option for you?

A miracle.